feb09
718pm I have this prediction, see, that next week is gonna be hell, school- and work-wise. so to prepare myself, emotionally and all that, I've been drawing pictures of the lovely mr kaiya kugnn that I hope to have scannerized soon.
must must must send thingie mentioned below to the also lovely miss lesley, but just remembered that post office is closed on sundays, I thinks, which utterly ruins my plans of, like, world domination.
ps. journals suck. I can't do this very well now that half the people I want to write about know the address. still deciding what to do about this...
pps. 'cassandra' is the best song, EVER. [or for this week, anyway]
.......
feb07
310pm so dave and I went to the kmfdm release party last night. it was an experience, of course - and may I stress very awesome - but I kept getting irritated by the fact that it was such a celebration in materialism -- you walk in, get your free posters, get your autograph, and leave feeling sort of leechy, and partly also by the fact that I was partaking in this and couldn't just "enjoy the moment" for itself without some sort of souvenir, and mostly also by the fact that I was just having a shitty week.
but so it goes. materialism shmaterialism! sascha shook my hand, ha-ha! oh yes, preciousss! and I got my return of the king signed!
and picked up a little somethin somethin for sheem that I'll mail soon as I get around to it (if you know what I mean, heh heh heh my pretty). her name's spelled wrong but that's okay.
.......
feb03
342pm so I was reading the stranger at work and I see this thing in the concert section that says "KMFDM - meet the band, celebration of something, free, wednesday the somethingth." righteous!
and now, the sssemi-weekly list of excellent music, some of which was recommended by drunk old men from bowling alley bars. har har. in no particular order, mind.
1. bauhaus - "she's in parties"
2. bauhaus - "double dare"
3. blind guardian - "blood tears"
3. blind guardian - "noldor"
4. iced earth - "prophecy"
5. dead kennedys - "holiday in cambodia"
6. scorpions - "no one like you"
7. fear factory - "cars"
8. covenant - "figurehead"
9. michael jackson - "they don't really care about us" (shut up)
10. the pogues - "turkish song of the damned"
.......
feb02
805pm please indulge in pictures of my sexy room.
731pm went snowboarding. was assaulted by white male, age 40, who believes that the statement "well, if it isn't the pot calling the kettle black" is racist because calling people black is bad. perhaps he learned a different form of english than I did.
thinking at first that he might be a swell, well-meaning adult type, I eloquently explained that if somebody finds that statement racist, they should:
a) take an art class, where the colour black is used often (and with blatant, vigorous racism) so that they may get used to its presence in the world
b) stop being hypersensitive. saying that a kettle is black does not mean that it is bad for a kettle to be black. but even if it were bad for a kettle to be black, bringing racism into the trailmix is a bit of a stretch. if you say, "my, sonya, you crazy little russian," I do not respond with screams of, "you used the word 'russian' in a sentence, you racist kozel!"
that (eloquent explanations, that is, not calling people assholes in russian) did not work. "I tried getting through to you," said our friend. and then he left. well, here's a thought. perhaps you missed the part in the turning 40 handbook that says you can still be wrong. punk.
.......
feb01
609pm got A- in physics for semester, so stepdad took me out to mcdonalds.
much analyzing has been happening as of late. thinking about this character I created when I was 8, kaiya kugnn, and this world that he lived in, which was a sort of alternate reality with an alternate version of myself. and the main characters, or imaginary friends, or what have you, still remain the archetypes for the sorts of people I do or wish I surrounded myself with. which is an odd thought. seeing as I begin to suspect that I knew more about my brain when I was 8 than I do now.
.......
jan31
1026pm concert situation rather miserable right now. daniel ash is playing, and I think I would enjoy going. but no. 21+. firewater is playing in april. but no. it's during spring break, which kills my california time at chez papa. I will solve this. somehow.
I rilly, rilly dig bauhaus.
.......
jan24
901pm joe on tolkien discussion group: "so you are going to go meet a bunch of strange geek/freak type people in a dark alley and talk about hobbits?"
more on tolkien discussion (icq log):
cornholio: how was your forum?
Sonya: umm
Sonya: ok
Sonya: the flyer said "discuss tolkien"
Sonya: it didnt say "discuss tolkien with bookgroup consisting of 40 year old women"
321pm archived.
lunch money ($2.50) was stolen. cd player was not. I infer that this says something about cd player...
in between studying for finals and wasting time on this intraweb thing, I will attend a tolkien discussion group at 730. the other five (I make estimates) people there will probably be over 40. It will rock so hard.
.......
jan23
844pm spent seven hours today doing math. die, finals. die die suck die.
have new art! it is greatness. actually, it is very badly scanned greatness. the type of shading I do doesn't seem to scan very well. but you don't mind. you want to buy from me. for large amounts of money! or perhaps not...
here is explanation of pictures:
1. evil looking feller blowing apples out of a wand thing you blow bubbles out of. actually not new at all, but I insist on leaving it in the new section because I like it. you do too.
2. my imaginary friend from when I was 8, kaya kugnn. do not ask me why I draw my imaginary friends. lyrics on left from "w/o you I'm nothing" by placebo and david bowie, and on right from "emotional winter" by anathema. bottom lyric from david bowie.
3. kai again. this drawing is called "furious angels," because that was what I listened to as I made it.
.......
jan22
934pm sage.cherryspoon.org - currently moving in. filler text borrowed liberally by me from revolutionsf.
929pm dear nominated student,
congratulations! you have been selected to participate in the art institute of portland's annual arts to career day. this special event will be happening on saturday, january 26th, beginning promptly at 900am and concluding at approximately 100pm. as you are probably well aware, you were nominated by an instructor at your high school to attend this event free of charge.
you will be spending the day with our professionally trained faculty and staff, who have designed this event to provide you with information and experiences that will help you to learn more about the exciting careers available to creative and passionate students. not only will you be able to ask questions, gather information, and view our school, but you will also be participating in a hands-on workshop with our faculty. this workshop will provide you with the chance to experiment and create, while experiencing what it would be like to be a student at the art institute. the workshops will be offered in each of our programs of study: graphic design, multimedia & web design, media arts & animation, interior design, and apparel design.
[snip]
clap for me. clap-clap.
439pm mr joe suggests pierre butterball.
430pm transcript of notes made by myself and friend maya on upcoming romance novel myself plans to write:
the possibility of nathaniel butterhorn
character
1. main character -> fabio look-alike with (french?) first name, "butter" in last name. (butterhorn? yes!)
setting
1. victorian?
+ lace
- have to describe victorian houses
2. franche (is not spelled "franche," idiot)
+ chance to use random french words
- only know so many random french words
plot/theme
1. scarf w/ monogram left in bedrooms of "conquered endeavors" ??
2. only does his business in bed w/ certain colour sheet (white? mauve? puce??)
3. is poet! no, romance writer. writes in seedy district of town (bar?)
4. must use words "cylindrical spire of love"
quotes for press releases
"I am engineering the 21st century--is it the 21st century, maya?--the 21st century housewife's wet dream."
sonya = loser of immense proportions. and you likes it, preciouss.
.......
jan21
1117pm I want to write a corny romance novel.
1008pm cousin left. feel like school nurse from up the down staircase who is not allowed to give out medicine and offers the students tea, only all I can offer is sandwiches.
.......
jan20
923pm grooving deliciously to "blood on the dance floor" by comrade michael jackson. this is, apparently, something to be proud of. sonya = un-hardcore sellout poseur.
802pm am going to see LOTR tomorrow for 7th time. 11:10 am, pacific place cinema in seattle. with alia of sandwich-making fame.
cousin dmitry (read: only hip relative on mum's side of family) is visiting. is joyous occasion, marked by feasting on steak, mashed potatoes, and acreful amounts of a1 smoky mesquite steak sauce.
547pm finished my latest drawing. scan soon, promise. promise, preciousss. ahaha, no? yes. and now I present a list. I like lists. this list happens to be a list of what I have been listening to heap big lots this week.
[voice of john from john q movie previews]
he's a good list. you'd like him.
[/voice]
list! of this week's excellent music!
1. rob d - "I'm not driving anymore"
2. icon of coil - "regret"
3. rob d - "furious angels (clubbed to death)"
4. placebo w/ david bowie - "w/o you I'm nothing"
5. covenant - "dead stars"
6. u2 - "new years day"
7. paul oakenfold - "babe, I'm gonna leave you (led zep remix)"
8. op ivy - "vulnerability"
9. nick cave - "15 feet of pure white snow"
10. lourds - "always"
.......
jan19
1012pm have seen lotr 6 times now, if you were unaware. again on monday.
954pm fixed up unlayout a bit. have things to scan soon as can sneak over to dr dave's house to borrow scanner. irritated with drawing obscenely beautiful people so now am in phase of drawing one of my imaginary friends from when I was eight. his name was kaya kugnn, and he lived in this place called bad end, which was a pun on tolkien's bag end. thought it quite clever at the time. anyways. mr kugnn happens to look like david bowie's character jareth from the labyrinth. I draw him as skinny man with black coat, long ash-coloured hair, and big nose. it is fascinating. you think so too.
654pm summary of day follows end of sentence. went snowboarding, which was most enjoyable. went home. not enjoyable, as had Stomach-ache From Hell. took shower. set chicken noodle soup on fire.
.......
jan17
418pm just found this priceless image on my puter. it appears to be two subway kids pak toys [chester cheetah spaceman, bottom. sheep, top]. doing what kids pak toys should never, never do.
ahaha, I just found another one.
401pm went to mcdonalds. bought $7 worth of beautiful cheeseburger delight. paid with $20. got $22 change. life is beautiful.
.......
jan03
847pm happy birthday, mr. tolkien.
.......
jan01
419pm saw the lord of the rings again.
1001am oh, and happy new year and so forth. word.
954am had bizarre dream where lived in movie theatre and was friends with man named, check this, harry pottergorn. (that's harry potter/aragorn to you.) and, the girls' locker room was connected to the theatre, and my mum accidentally bought tickets to see hobgoblin instead of the lord of the rings, and hobgoblin turned out to be the exact same movie, except dubbed, so frodo kept saying 'fuck' and stuff. so we left to go to where lotr is playing, except we see my dad, and he's all, 'it's your birthday, sonya' and I'm all 'no it's not' and then he says, 'oh yeah, it's your half birthday' and for some weirdzo reason joe drives by with a car full of elementary school-age kids (hmm...) and says 'happy birthday' and drives off, so I go to the girls' locker room where some chick yells at me for having the same coat as her except she doesn't have the coat, and so forth.
harry pottergorn?
yrch.
.......
dec30
800pm what really happened at mount doom:
isildur: elrond, should I throw the ring into the fire?
elrond: yes... and no.
isildur: hmm, I guess I'll keep it then...
ahhahhahahahaaHAHA.
am on loneliest wavelength this side of 1994.
.......
dec29
940pm think will see the lord of the rings again tomorrow.
re-reading: the fellowship of the ring. (naturally.)
reading: microserfs, graphic novel of the hobbit.
listening: anathema. perfect lotr music.
drinking: crystal geyser juice squeeze. obsessively.
.......
dec28
1029pm saw the lord of the rings again.
.......
dec27
856pm and how many times do we need to see sauron's finger lying on the ground?
809pm I saw the lord of the rings today. it was exactly as expected.
bad:
1. almost every character that I can think of is, in the movie, weaker, less courageous, and less 'deep' than in the books. frodo is stripped of his bravery at the ford at rivendell, gandalf hits his head on ceilings in buildings where he's been many times before, and so forth.
2. the fight with the troll in the mines of moria was drawn out. the opening sequence was drawn out. I was under the impression that the esteemed peter jackson cut scenes like the old forest because he was 'pressed for time.'
3. the troll, and especially the flaming blue galadriel bit, were possibly the worst bits of CG I have ever seen this side of 1995.
4. the big bad uruk hai dude who kills boromir is ridiculous.
5. several characters, gimli in particular, were underdeveloped and seemed more like d&d archetypes. the fact that tolkien inspired the d&d archetypes is irrelevant -- it is no excuse to reduce his characters, which, as far as I'm concered, had some aspect of depth (whether or not it was more prominent in the next two books) which was more or less ignored in the movie.
6. battle-sauron looked like one of those guys from the diablo computer game around level 13 or so. the steel lord dudes. would have been more tasteful to allude to his being there, or at least cloak it more, than make him into another cheap-CG statistic.
7. the old forest was one of my three favourite parts of the book. it was not in the movie.
8. white-glow-galadriel was not necessary. perhaps one of the worst things about this movie is the constant appearance of immensely horrible CG effects.
9. arwen.
10. liv tyler would have been a better frodo than elijah wood.
good:
1. bree was the best part of the movie. the mystery captured in aragorn's appearance was just as it was when I first read the book in the year of our lord nineteen ninety-three. I was actually starting to enjoy the movie before arwen appeared.
2. aragorn, except during the rivendell scene, was excellent. especially in bree.
3. legolas was immensely attractive. so I wasn't able to notice whether or not he was a good legolas. heh-heh.
4. merry and pippin were good. they were mischievous in the books; the "just comic relief" claim is faulty.
5. bree was good.
6. it's the freaking lord of the rings. butcher it as you might; it will still kick ass.
7. legolas was hot.
so, the movie was "ok." as a movie, it wasn't that great. as a movie of the lord of the rings, it was considerably worse. but, at the same time, it was a movie of the lord of the rings, which is a lot better than, say, armageddon. will I see it again? definitely.
.......
dec26
621pm LOTRmovie parody link number one and LOTRmovie parody link number two. heh-heh.
ps. I'm going to see the movie tomorrow!
542pm the post-christmas tally. well, not a tally, really, as a tally is a list of things with little sticks to the right signifying numbers, whereas this is just a simple little list of what I have now that I did not have before the holiday festivities, whether it was bought by self or given to self by someone else, which I now present to you, completely uncensored. and utterly interesting:
1 scarf, red, boa-like
1 the hobbit, a graphic novel
1 gargoyle, miniature
1 calendar
2 sandman comics
1 pant(s?), snowboarding variety
2 shirts, snowboarding variety
1 watch, silvery
1 cd carry-case
1 book, title forgotten
.......
dec24
1213pm my mom is chopping eggplant and putting it in a mixing bowl:
me: I hope that's not going into anything vital where I have to eat it.
mom: it is. the stuffing for the turkey.
me: no!
mom: prepare to die. inigo montoya is my father.
1115am just now, in kitchen:
me: I had a dream I did shrooms.
mom: what?
me: shrooms.
mom: what?
me: MUSHROOMS.
mom: you did mushrooms? what, did you make them?
me: SHROOMS.
(pause)
mom: oh.
mom: merry christmas to you, too.
.......
dec23
745pm matters of consequence!
two frequent customers came to Subway today. were incredibly uncool. more specifically: the type of uncool that requires at least sixty years of practice.
wife sat down by the window. husband ordered:
"four dots of mayonnaise, and could you please spread them with your knife."
"four dots of mustard."
"double tomatoes on both."
"double olives on this one, but normal olives on the other one."
"double napkins."
"double fuckyou!" I scream, simultaneously tearing hair out in clumps, dicing fingers into fine pieces with orange knife (it's the sharpest), and writing obsceneties on husband's grey jacket with honey mustard. (well, kinda)
you hear that? double fuckyou!
but anyways... I digress, or regress, or whatever.
dr dave has a new layout. the stonerboard is...the future.
and I just did the shittiest wrapping job on a present that...well...sorry, alison.
.......
dec21
1131pm way to close the link tag, sonya.
1127pm to celebrate that equinox thing, which may or may not be today, and which -- for some reason I can't remember -- I associate with sausage and my bus driver from fifth grade, I offer you some Things That I Find Funny Which Really Aren't, But Definitely Seem So Late At Night, Especially To Me. This is because I watch Judge Judy every time I can, and often make metaphors or similies or thingies saying that this webpage is like my court, y'know, and if I want to celebrate that equinox thing, I damn well can, as dr dave would say, garbage can. so, to a delightful soundtrack by nirvana, I offer you AIM conversations involving biscuits, AIM conversations involving love thingies, and pSAT results. but not in that order.
so, I got my pSAT results yesterday. and I'm still trying to translate the results into something I understand, if by "trying to translate" I mean saying occasionally to people in AIM conversations not involving biscuits or love thingies, "I dunno how to translate it," which, ladies and male ladies, is a direct quote. however, I did score in the top 5% of the nation's score-ers. which means two things:
1) I, sonya, am going to college, doodah, doodah.
2) I, sonya, may, possibly, maybe hopefully, but not necessarily, be on the receiving end of a "commended scholar" certificate that will look good on a) my wall and b) my college application.
----
and speaking of "commended scholar" ...
chris: so how's break?
me: well. I can't sleep and I'm having weird dreams about creepy freudian love thingies with those greek satyr dudes.
----
and speaking of freudian love thingies...
me: it's...depressing, man.
me: kinda like my lack of biscuits.
me: biscuits with butter and honey.
me: warm, fluffy biscuits with butter and honey.
me: or maybe just butter.
me: warm, fluffy biscuits from kfc with butter and possibly also with honey but I'm not sure, dig?
me: oh, I got it.
me: warm, fluffy biscuits from kfc with butter and possibly also with the kind of honey that comes in those little bear-shaped containers.
me: hm.
me: there is a festive snowman-shaped mint lollipop deal sitting upside-down in a glass on my desk, accumulating dust.
me: sort of a metaphor for my current emotional status right now, biscuit-lacking and all.
me: I don't like this nine inch nails song.
me: I don't think it's about biscuits.
me: not warm biscuits, or fluffy biscuits.
me: and DEFINITELY not about biscuits with butter or honey.
me: especially not honey from those bear-shaped containers.
me: which means it isn't even really honey, but that doesn't matter since, clearly, there are no biscuits, and if there were, they wouldn't have honey, let alone honey from those remarkably ultra-rock bear-shaped honey containers.
alison: sure sone
alison: are you okay?
me: what is this "okay" you speak of?
me: is it...a biscuit?
me: cuz if it is, I'm definitely not "okay."
me: are you ignoring me, alison?
me: because if you are, I know where you live, and I could go there tomorrow, or maybe in a year or so when I get my license. In some sort of car-like vehicle.
----
there was something funny in the stranger this week, except I don't remember what it was, and my copy is lying about 5 feet from where I'm sitting which means I'll have to stand up to get it, and I've already promised myself that when/if I stand up, I'll go to sleep. bummer.
.......
dec20
801pm did the balrog have wings? how are the hairy feet? and what about arwen? next on jonah reviews the lord of the rings:
jonah: Well I saw lord of the rings
me: was it good?
jonah: It was okay.
----
jonah: You'll no doubt be angered by Arwen's character
jonah: She has far too much screentime than she deserves
----
jonah: Well you know that "come and claim him" scene?
me: yeah
jonah: Let's just say...
jonah: Glorfindel isn't in the movie
me: i know that
jonah: Oh. Well then you won't be writhing in your seat like I was
----
me: so, did the orcs hatch out of pods?
jonah: Yes. Saruman did genetic engineering to cross breed goblins and orcs to make uruk hai
jonah: ...and they hatch out of pods
----
me: did peter jackson do any research?
jonah: Nope.
----
jonah: well the producer says they ain't!
me: the producer's a nasty little pipe-smoking money hungry bitch
----
jonah: How do you pronounce sauron by the way?
me: me personally?
jonah: Yes
me: saw-ron
jonah: Oh. I pronounce(d) it soar-ron
me: how is it in the movie?
jonah: But the movie says it's s-ow-ron
me: like sour-on?
jonah: Yes.
me: fuckers
me: whores
me: prostitutes!
jonah: Damn them and their japanese phonetic system
me: yes!
me: fuckers
me: whores
me: prostitutes!
jonah: prostitutes
me: damn right they are
----
jonah: Also galadriel comes off as quite sinister
jonah: She's always telepathically communicating with people and shouting at them at the end of her sentences
me: aaaah
jonah: Yes...
me: blasphemy
jonah: She was raping frodo's mind when she said "welcome young Frodo, i see you've brought the ring that will BRING US ALL TO HELL!"
jonah: And then it cuts to another scene
----
me: and the hobbits look too young?
jonah: It's quite obvious that they're using child body doubles from hind shots
me: oy
----
me: how were the hairy feet?
jonah: Eh they were hairy enough
me: thats good
----
me: better than harry potter or worse?
me: based on quality first, and then based on true-ness to book
jonah: Well if I had to choose to watch one for the rest of my life I'd go with rings
jonah: it's generally more engaging
jonah: It's about 50% true to the book
jonah: The rest is arwen being some sort of all powerful warrior sorceress
----
me: how was the cg ogre dude at the mines of moria?
jonah: uh...
jonah: well animated?
me: good.
----
jonah: the balrog was neat
me: not cheap looking?
me: did it have wings???????
jonah: Yes!
me: ok.
jonah: and a whip!
me: a whip?
me: kinky.
me: but also ok.
----
me: hmm what else
jonah: uh..frodo acts like a flaming homo?
me: explain
jonah: I don't know
jonah: he just prances around
jonah: and stands awkwardly
----
me: what about the other hobbits?
jonah: They act incredibly stupid
jonah: They're comic relief pretty much
----
jonah: I'm going to watch madtv
me: ok
me: ta-ta
----
the end.
.......
dec16
1245am if flesh could crawl my skin would fall from off my bones and run away from here... as far from god as heaven is wide. as far from god as angels can fly.
(oldskoolgarbagerocksmysocksoff)
pointed out to stepdad today how mum's reaction to my religious beliefs, or lack thereof, is parallel to my reaction about stepdad "not getting" the lord of the rings. that's another one of my more brilliant ideas. but, I mean, how can you freaking not get the lord of the rings? clearly, this, more than anything, proves that god doesn't exist.
.......
dec15
931pm r.i.p. kesha.
435pm"5 years for what you did. the rest because you tried to run. yes, 2-4-6-0-1."
"my name is jean val jean."
mmrrrrmlesmiserablahblah.
409pmwent christmas shopping on broadway. bought...stuff.
.......
dec14
1006pm we are making flutes in physics class. mine is ugly but mathematically correct.
I received four cds for free today. they are the newest releases by blink182, bush, pod, and stp. if anyone wants one of them, let me know. except the stp one. I might actually keep that.
ps. my advanced art teacher from 9th and 10th grade, who called me sondra during class and now insists that my name is laura, recommended me up for some artsy shiznit going down at the art institute of portland in january. she could only recommend four people, so I guess it's an honour or whatever. but she did fail to mention that whole "it's in freaking portland" bit.
pps. roadkill the skateboard is fine, thanksforasking. he and I have been doing some serious bonding lately. mrrm.
.......
dec12
730pm studied last night until 2am. woke at 4am to continue studying. went to school. studied. took math test. took french test. took math test. collapsed. drank too much coffee.
did I mention that I got tickets to the nick cave show?
726pm I really like it how news channels are so concerned with being all artistic and mysterious that they forget about the whole news thing. I mean, what the hell is "we've got all the details (cue cryptic shot of people gathered in a chaotic crowd) on the evacuation of seatac airport--tonight at 7" ? oh, yeah, and there's a meteor coming towards us, which will surely result in the planet being blown up, except we won't be blown up, because we'll die of bio-warfare first, and thirty thousand and one live sea turtles have left their cages and are armed with toasters but (cue cryptic shot of sea turtles descending from the heavens, skies falling, close-up on man screaming in agony), hey, we'll tell you all about it in five hours.
.......
dec11
1122pm doctor, doctor, I'm going mad. this is the worst day I've ever had. I can't remember ever feeling this bad.
next time I get the brilliant idea to discuss religion with my mum, hit me. please.
.......
dec10
620pm oh yeah, lyrics in the self portrait would be 'jaded' by op ivy. mrrrmopivy.
604pm I forgot to 'splain the pictures.
'apples' is some evil-type guy blowing bubbles out of one of those bubble-blowing wands, see, except they're not really bubbles, they're apples.
'ninjette' is just some random chick with song lyrics in the background. one of the more prominent ones is 'anyone seen moses? get him off that mountain.' jethro tull. yessir.
'self' is a self-portrait, I guess. I mean. I didn't really think it looked like me, she's just wearing one of my outfits and has my purse, but 'sides that, but, see, david was all 'sonya.gif!' when he saved it, so I guess it's me, dig?
557pm yeah, I couldn't stay away.
I followed dave home after school today and used his scanner. which means that there are 3 relatively new art-thingies. I'm not that pleased with the scanning, but you get what you get, and so forth.
did you hear that? THREE NEW ART-THINGIES. check them ouuuut, man. check them ouuuuut.
(miss cleo) I feel that we will be seeing many more new art-thingies in the near future, known currently only to me with my mad fresh ass-kicking future-seeing muffin-making fortune-telling hyphenating powers. (/miss cleo)
.......
dec09
142pm I waved to my neighbor. my neighbor waved to me.
but my neighbor is my enemy.
.......
crouching harry, hidden voldemort: I went to see harry potter
today. all in all, it was a swell movie, made even sweller with commentary
from erin, jonah and myself. ("snape, you whore." "ohhh, orgasmic."
"crouching harry, hidden voldemort.") there were changes from book to movie,
yes, and while some of them were rather stupid, they didn't take away too
much from the "heart" of the story, as it were, and THE AUTHOR WAS ALIVE TO
SAY, "NO, HOLLYWOOD, STICK YOUR CHANGES UP YOUR COLLECTIVE BUTT." not that
I have any complaints with certain other fantasy-book-turned-movie
hollywood perversions coming out soon, sir.
in read-ation: yesterday, al
and I drove ourselves to the bookstore to purchase sideways stories from
wayside school because she wouldn't let me borrow hers. here is a quote:
"if you children are bad, " she warned," or if you answer a problem wrong,
I'll wiggle my ears, stick out my tongue, and turn you into apples!" mrs.
gorf didn't like children, but she loved apples.
joe couldn't add. he couldn't even count. but he knew that if he answered
a problem wrong, he would be turned into an apple. so he copied from john.
he didn't like to cheat, but mrs. gorf had never taught him how to add.
simply brilliant. (psst, I know most of you read that business in elementary
schools, ok? but some of us are less fortunate, if that's not a problem with
you)
crouching harry, hidden voldemort. oy, jonah, if you had a website, I would
link you with a thousand links. but, it is not so. such is my life. 919pm
.......
dec07
good: I finally found somebody who likes death cab for cutie and would
go with me to the show.
bad: the show is 21+.
such is my life. 441pm
.......
dec05
so this site went crashy crashy as, well, stuff happened, and it all
has to do with this man, who we should worship.
I'm going to have 3+ new art thingies by the end of this week, or as soon
as I scan them. which, I'm assuming is going to be by the end of this week.
but you know how that is. 847pm
.......
nov29
sentiments felt by one sonya slash sone approximately twenty seconds after
getting off plane and feeling seattle breeze around ankles:
"I like it. it's...homey. kinda... refreshing..."
(pause)
"this sucks."
oy. I could write an autobiography. titled "sonya voyages to hawaii, has stupid
dreams about work slash school with stupid metaphors about love life slash
lack thereof, returns tanless and stupider than ever." I need a hug. ah, the
shame. 1131pm
.......
nov21
ON VACATION.
11.21.01 - 11.29.01 or something.
I was awake later last night than I have been the past week, but when I woke
up, I didn't feel particularly tired. albeit this was probably because I feel
so shitty (read: three week cold) that one more degree of shittyness wouldn't
have altered much.
figured would start drawing again, and did. made fairly nice sketch, which
I decided would be fun to ink seeing as I usually just shade with pencil.
ruined sketch within three minutes. oy, what a fine starving artist I would
make.
well. y'know. be back in a week, dearest webpage. don't miss me too much.
1039pm
.......
nov20
studies and practice problems and obsessive doing and redoing and checking
and double checking and redoing again happened for physics during the past
two hours. why? because I am needing of self-improvement in the study area.
and so I improve, gradually, like this and like that. aaaaand.
this brings me to: hawaii in 2 (one, two!) days. for a week. a week in hawaii
in two days. in two days for a week I will be surrounded by ocean and sand
and impressively hot ethnic males. oy. I dig the word "ethnic." it is so pleasingly
offensive. and I...am suck.
and on the anarchy thing that plagues the stonerboard...
what you, zero, are suggesting
is (as pointed out by myself, sage, and others) pretty much a return to the
human society of many, many moons ago, only with the doubtful tag of "more
aware" or "enlightened." and on top of that, you are trying to seperate humans
too much from what we are: animals with animal instincts such as lust, hate,
envy, et cetera.
there is no way that you can get a large-scale community with the same "awareness"
level that lives peacefully and happily and all that, let alone on a smaller
scale. your theory requires this equal "awareness" level, because, otherwise,
emotions (hate, lust, and so forth) will most likely be introduced to the
society through that one less aware person, which gives us two options. either,
the less aware person will be taught by the benevolent members of his community,
or the less aware person will refuse to be taught. what then?
point: I don't see how people growing up in your community will be any
less brainwashed than people growing up in ours.
yeah, "intelligent thinking" may be encouraged or even forced upon them, but
they will grow up trying to conceal and hide their natural emotions. perhaps
we will eventually develop some gene that will alter our emotional reactions
to events, but until then, anyone growing up in that society will be supressing
their emotions (yes, I know I already used that word twice in this paragraph.
shut up) in order to try to fit into their society, purposely over-riding
them with their supposed intellectual prowess, or sacrificing them on the
altar of becoming a better, more "enlightened" person.
we're not robots. if anything, it is more likely that as we evolve, we will
have heap-big technological inventions that will blow holes in things, and
the planet will erupt into pieces of shrapnel. I don't think planets are made
of shrapnel, and I'm not really sure what shrapnel is, but Earth blowing up
into tasty morcels of it seems alot more logical than the idea that we'll
all get along. 846pm
.......
nov18
oh man oh man oh man. tomorrow I am wearing a subway
poster as a skirt. it will be fresh, let me tell you. hah. fresh. like sandwiches,
you get it?
ps. me and the subway posse have already thought of numerous pick-up lines
to use while wearing said poster-skirt, which has a picture of the steak and
cheese sub and the words "baked and built right before your eyes."
planning to go up to people and demand that they make me a meal. ahahaaa.
oy, I'm cool like that. 615pm
funniest joke ever: how do skinheads tie their shoes? in little nazis.
ahahahhaaaahaha.
c'mon, shmucko. you liked it.
her: he was drinking a large glass of milk.
me: men drinking milk. that's sexual. how'd you know it was milk?
her: because it was a clear glass, y'know? and unless it was liquid
anthrax or something...
ahahhaaaahahahahaaa. I am just a bucket of laughs today. 606pm
.......
nov15
why did I ever stop listening to rancid? why, oh why? I was having a mad shitty
day earlier and now, oh man oh man am I having a ball. albeit slightly missing
the days when having a common favourite band with somebody was perhaps the
single point around which a relationship hinged. ooohhh rancid. ooohhh op
ivy.
something breaks inside of you
with the spectacle of all the shows
with fifteen fights and your six bucks
has gone up some promoter's nose
jaded eyes see clearly but only half of what's there
good old days are left behind whats left is boredom and despair
but sometimes every once in a while
sometimes every once in a while...
its beautiful I would say,
I wouldn't have it any other way
if I said different it would be a lie
if I said different it would be a lie...
be a lie
what was once rebellion is now clearly just a social sect
but are you just upset cuz your own social clique has left
leave when you want cuz I know that someday I will too
but I wont burn my bridges and be just another jaded fool
op ivy - "jaded" 1039pm
.......
nov14
I still remember how it all started... but I would do it again. god dammit,
I would do it again. 616pm
everybody is going
to see weezer but me. fuck. bring me back something, guys? an angsty little
emo kid, perhaps? 452pm
I like telling lunch ladies the truth. it is a fetish, almost. at lunch I,
oh-so-sneakily, conceal a donut in my shirt, and then when it is my turn to
pay, pull it out and say, "don't forget the donut, ma'am" and smile politely.
446pm
writing dates is a hassle. what if there was no calendar?
had dream about writing autobiography titled please, I'll dye my hair anything
but red. 442pm
.......
nov13
I had this dream where I saw jay-z walking down the street. so I started busting
out my flow, y'know: the first verse of the 'can I get a?' song, cuz that's
all I know. and he heard me, right, so he crosses the street and--get this--starts
rapping with me. so we have this fucking moment, y'know. like a thuggish bonding
instant, or something. and he's all, "you're so HIP, sonya!" and I'm
all, "I KNOW, jay-z, I KNOW," and then I wake up.
my closet is beginning to store a collection of other peoples' shirts. 317pm
.......
11.08.01 // 3:52 pm ::
what I'm thinking is that in my bedroom trashcan I have a bottle of
7up, which I don't even like, a bag of fluffy stuff cotton candy, a
large stapler, an empty just-add-water mashed potato container (chive & onion
flavour), a sock, and my dsl modem thing which just fell in.
what I'm saying is that well...y'know. journals still suck.
.......
11.08.01 // 3:13 pm ::
I had something to say a second ago.
journals suck. the stonerboard
is the...future. yeah, the future. and archives
are for the sentimental. (who, me?)
.......
11.05.01 // 10:36 pm ::
I just changed my AIM sn to yeolkipalki. thanks, sir. now run along.
.......
11.05.01 // 10:14 pm ::
webpages suck. go here instead.
I am loved:
LyraTheGreat: hey pretty baby
with the high heels on
LyraTheGreat: something something something forevermore
LyraTheGreat: lalala
THE IMORTAL SAGE: sone no more
LyraTheGreat: you sure?
LyraTheGreat: i got plenty more?
THE IMORTAL SAGE: yeah
THE IMORTAL SAGE: no you don't
LyraTheGreat: err, that last wasnt a question
LyraTheGreat: sure i do
THE IMORTAL SAGE: no you don't
LyraTheGreat: so kiss me baby and tell me twice
LyraTheGreat: that youre the one for me
THE IMORTAL SAGE: No you don't
LyraTheGreat: the way you make me feel!
*** THE IMORTAL SAGE signed off at Mon Nov 05 21:54:50 2001.
earlier that day:
THE IMORTAL SAGE: that's why immortal only has one 'm'
LyraTheGreat: oh
LyraTheGreat: i thought it was cuz
LyraTheGreat: y'know
THE IMORTAL SAGE: i can't spell?
LyraTheGreat: yeah
topsoil, etc:
Sonya: hmmm
Sonya: indeed
Sonya: yes well
Sonya: um
Sonya: ugh
Sonya: i am such a bad conversationalist
Ryo Fish: Ackward silence OTS!
Sonya: i am an icq failure
Ryo Fish: No, you found me just find. There is no Sone saying: "Ryo.
I seek you."
Sonya: hmm
Sonya: you are scary, scary man
Sonya: i wish i hadnt suck you
Sonya: wait
Sonya: no
Sonya: suck is not past of seek
Sonya: is it?
Ryo Fish: Hmmm.
Sonya: no
Ryo Fish: You are a scary, scary woman
Sonya: yes
Sonya: this is true
Sonya: and you
Sonya: are topsoil
Ryo Fish: Together, we frighten children.
Sonya: and eat them, right?
Ryo Fish: You, with your paste tense suck, and me. With my rich nutrients
and earthy smell.
Sonya: paste tense suck?
Ryo Fish: Yes.
Ryo Fish: Paste tense of suck.
Sonya: ryo
Sonya: marry me
Ryo Fish: Sone.
Sonya: in a platonic way
Ryo Fish: I cannot.
Sonya: platonic, motherfucker!
Sonya: you too, can!
.......
11.04.01 // 4:52 pm ::
for some reason, almost all of my teachers suck this year. and I don't even
mean the kind of suck where we have clashing personalities, or the kind of
suck where the teacher fails me for no reason. no, no, kind sir. this is the
kind of suck that makes me sit back and think, "what kind of dipshit
judged you fit to teach anybody, and where can I get my eager hands on their
little ultra-squeezable necks?" I mean. My french teacher, nice albeit she
is, has had two years more of french than me, at most. but even this
I can forgive...
english and history, however? unforgivable! during a lecture of sorts that
involved my english teacher writing on a white board, three words were spelled
incorrectly. now, I am a loving and forgiving god, so I offer these points
in her favour: 1) writing on a white board is somehow harder than writing
on a piece of paper, or so I'm told by teachers who make spelling errors on
white boards. 2) actually, that first bit was my only point.
ms. a, you are a fucking english teacher. is it too much to ask that
you have a basic fucking understanding of the english language? is it really
so wrong to assume that when you quiz us on basic grammar rules, you will
follow the same grammar rules on hand-outs you dispense? yeah, amazing as
I am, I will admit to making the occasional spelling or typing error. but
that's why I'm not an english teacher, fucknuts.
and as for history... I'm getting a dirty dirty suspicion that my history
teacher's knowledge in the subject she teaches comes from hand-outs that she
reviews for ten minutes before regurgitating the information to us eager students.
well, fuck that. underpaid my ass. I wouldn't pay you a nickel to teach
my children. in fact, I'd pay a nickel to make sure you didn't teach
my children, because every second I spend in my english or history teacher's
class slowly sucks at my brain cells like a vaccuum and fills me with the
kind of self-righteous rage that even parents cannot ignite in me. so, to
protest, I'm not going to do my homework.
.......
11.04.01 // 4:00 pm ::
going to see shockheaded
peter tonight at seven.
alia, alison and myself went to catch a late-night showing of from hell
last night, even though all of us had already seen it. we also went with the
intention to "pick up guys," although no guys were actually picked up. (however,
four did approach us and ask if we wanted to hang out. cool, calm ice queen
alison replied "no.")
I was listening to the radio once, and I heard this song that went something
like the government sucks! conformity sucks! authority sucks! I wanna play
lacrosse! which is exactly how I feel right now, dear sir. except maybe
that lacrosse bit. it's like I looked under my bed and found that the monsters
exist, and while this assurance of magic is, well, assuring as all hell, it's
far far far from what I've spent sixteen years preparing for, and it takes
me by surprise. but, hey, ho, let's go. y'know. hahahamadrappingskills, foo.
oh, and I'm getting the flu. maybe no school tomorrow for me. that would be
swell.
.......
11.02.01 // 9:50 pm ::
I keep forgetting. img 1 >> img
2 >> img 3. my snowboard, baby. is
it not sexy?
.......
11.02.01 // 9:41 pm ::
going to get tickets tomorrow (hopefully) for shockheaded
peter. I am utter excitement.
moodswinging like all hell today. a rundown: 100% on math quiz, 0% on physics
quiz, 99.9% on french quiz. and when I say 0%, I mean it. because, you see,
I failed it so hard that I didn't even answer any questions. but two out of
three ain't bad, right? right?
work was swell tonight. and tomorrow is one of those rare saturdays where
I work evening shift, which means I get to...(dun dun dun)...sleep in! till
3pm or so, hopefully.
yesterday I wrote a very excellent essay on why organized religion was to
blame for the salem witch trials. except I wrote it at midnight, so, ah...
what am I trying to say here?
damned if I know. ahhh, man. I'm so fucking inspired right now. my blood rushes
through my veins and I swim through it, which reminds me. hawaii in two weeks.
oh BABY. do me NOW.
.......
11.01.01 // 6:37 am ::
the world didn't end.
or did it?
philosophy excapes me because I'm focusing my blurry eyes at something behind
it. I had good dreams which were interrupted by parent. and somehow I turned
off my alarm clock, so if mum had not awoken me, I might have just gone on
sleeping.
before last night I thought that if I let go of one of my principles, the
rest would fall down around me in a sheet, leaving me vulnerable and rather
naked. but now, see, I understand that my strengthening one of them has strengthened
the rest. and I live, and I breathe, and with each breath either comes knowledge,
or maybe I should just go back to sleep, but, see...
I'm too happy for words. and I'm not quite sure as to the reason why.
.......
10.30.01 // 9:11 pm ::
headache. vampire book #7. homework. too much work, not enough home. plenty
of self-analyzation, too. mmm.
I've been sort of self-absorbed lately. not in the selfish way; just grabbing
your words and clinging and pulling and trying to raise myself to my feet,
so to speak, making some sense of this mess, this mess we're in, and... the
city sunset over me... night and day. I dream of. making love. to you now,
baby.
and I have seen the sun rise... pj harvey & thom yorke - "this mess we're
in."
trying to be honest, no matter what. it's all been too important for me lately.
and even now, hell, I'm too scared to say it, whatever it is, and go playing
these word games with myself. so, a brief rundown for you.
religion is getting harder and harder for me the more I think about.
keep shifting between being an atheist and then feeling intelligent but helpless,
or believing in belief, because its so nice, so damned nice to think of heaven
and god and all this holiness, but then I realize that I can't really believe
in it. I can say that I believe all I want. I can feel energy, spirituality
all I want. but when it comes down to it, bottom line, I just can't. and while
this seems so unimportant, partially, it's as if my whole system of "values"
is some sort of metaphorical pyramid and if I alter just one it'll all tumble
down around my ankles. so here I am once more.
can't I stop with the song quotes?
I argue more with myself than with anybody else these days. but I feel this
running through me, you see, this energy, coming from the (un?)likely source
of mister mp3 player who delivers nirvana's "paper cuts" to my eagerly awaiting
ears and eyes and fingertips and I only wish I knew how to put this into words,
because it's innocent and naive and childish and almost cliche and that's
always, always the best part if you'll let it be. dun dun dun. down in
mississippi where the sun beats down from the sky. hahahahah, that's for
you, alison.
.......
10.28.01 // 6:08 pm ::
me and my principles have been having troubles lately. they are something
I cling to, society-imposed or not. I strongly believe in picking and choosing
what I want to agree with, and not just doing all this anti-society anti-conformist
business everybody is all about lately. so my "principles" have stayed.
one of my best friends told somebody we knew a "secret" of mine. it wasn't
a particularly important secret; the telling of it changed nothing, albeit
I'd never have shared it with that particular person. and I really didn't
want to argue with my friend. but, principles, man. people don't get to go
around and tell the entire world or smaller section thereof random details
about my personal life, and I can't, I just can't, sit there and not
do anything, not say anything, not get up in anybody's shit about it, although
the degree of how bad I flip is individual to a situation. hell, if it had
been a secret of relative importance, or some other, stronger situation, I
might have been forced to end the friendship.
not because I want to. but, principles, man. you don't fuck with me.
maybe it's a macho gesture from a system of principles and honor that should
have long ago been abandoned, maybe I'm trying to be valiant when there aren't
any fucking princesses to save except my own feelings, although whether this
saves them is questionable, but nobody, nobody, fucks me over and remains
a friend.
if you're reading this, and, to be cliche, you know who you are: I'm not holding
any grudges. hell, I'm still deciding if my reaction was even right. but if
you don't follow up on principles, you're no more trustworthy than whoever
broke them, y'know? I'm not even angry anymore. you're one of the closest
friends I have, if not the closest friend, and I'd never lose you, to be more
sappy and cliche, over something this petty. but the whole little point around
which I rotate is the fact that it's the principle of the thing.
but, hell, we all know what good my principles tend to do me. so I'm as much
a hopeless romantic trying to cling to ideals as I am an intellectual badass
with an exceptional taste in music.
don't like it? tough, cowboy.
.......
10.28.01 // 4:20 pm ::
leaps and leaps are being made, and such. thinking of taking up writing again;
have to watch what I write here so often now, and what I do say seems almost
redundant. so maybe it would be a nice escape, so to speak. (re)reading alot
as well. book #6 in the vampire porn series (anita blake, vampire hunter
- quality reading, heh heh) is sitting on my bed, half finished.
I re-read alot during fall, for some reason. lord of the rings might
be next, or maybe some mystery/romance type thing.
I have a soft spot for mystery/fantasy/horror romance. fuck, for sappy love
songs as well. it's a fault. yeah, I love my kmfdm and rammstein and what
have you, but I like sunsets and white picket fences and 2 point whatever
children too. bully for me.
.......
10.22.01 // 10:22 pm ::
so many things to say, but I can't (won't?) say them here until I... well,
y'know. say them somewhere else.
downloaded commander keen today. 'puter game I have not played since was seven
years of age or so. man oh man, cowboy. it is some fun, fun shit.
ps. my mum won't let me sleep in my nice, warm pajama pants. and I will listen
to her. kick me, kick me. not hard, though, like that guy from tae kwon do.
.......
10.20.01 // 9:38 pm ::
I am going to sue sheem for hypothetical
copyright infringement. I am so. take two, take two. lights, camera, akshun.
what can I get for you? he walked in two days ago during alia, jim,
and pam's shift. alia and jim are avid mariners fans, and he was a player
on the team. alia's hands trembled as she fluffed the lettuce neatly on his
sandwich, and pam's eyes drifted to the mariners' shirts worn by his children.
"so," said pam, not knowing who he was. "you going to the game?"
I should certainly hope so...
also, cowboy... taken from a post I made earlier today on the stonerboard
about a dream I had last night: "so, the girl's locker room at school was
a prison. the lockers were more often than not used to contain dangerous students
and such. and I, for some strange reason, had a thing for one of the girls
in the holding cell. in fact, I think we might have been in a relationship,
I'm not sure. so I'm in the locker room, fawning over this chick, and then
I think to myself, "what the fuck? I'm straight." and the feeling I
had for this chick a second ago totally disappears, and then that "we've got
the funk, gotta have the funk" song comes on some radio and all the prisoners
break out of their cells and form a conga line type deal. mmkay."
click here, dear sir, to
read the rest of that thrilling thread, which includes a psycho-evaluation
from dr. dave himself.
the PSATs were easier than I thought they would be. but that doesn't matter,
because I'm tired. and all I particularly want to do is lie in bed and quote
sappy love songs to my cat. if I had a back yard, I'd stare at the roses for
a while. not the red kind, but the orange-yellow-pink kind. in russian, they
were called tea roses, I think. platonic. that should be the word of
the year.
ps. I bought boots and bindings for mister snowboard. my body is itching to
ride. I will probably dream of snow tonight.
.......
10.19.01 // 10:21 pm ::
PSATs tomorrow. wish me luck.
.......
10.18.01 // 11:24 pm ::
politics: pondering turning this domain into a more grandiose (sp?)
version of the stonerboard.
perhaps a zine type thing; I think it would be quite a swell idea if all of
us (and by "us," I mean the ultra-enlightened late-night frequenters of the
board) could commit, which seems unlikely at best. but let me know!
current events: as mentioned before in other
places, we are going to be required to say the pledge of allegiance in
class now starting monday. this distresses me, because such an empty gesture
of patriotism will create three class types: (1) the folks who refuse to say
it, for religious/moral/other principles, (2) the folks who say it and don't
think about what they're saying, (3) the folks who, were they 18, would have
by now joined the army to "kick some ass" because of how "pumped" and "patriotic"
they suddenly are. and I'm not sure any of this really unifies the country
or serves any sort of purpose except replacing the repetetive nonsense of
the daily news with other repetetive nonsense. does that make sense? good.
weather: excellent. I think this is the first year I've ever appreciated
fall. up until recently, I had been convinced by a health teacher in my earlier
years of schooling that I had some sort of emotional disorder relating to
seasons, and it's very difficult to fully enjoy the crisp air and rather nifty
looking trees when you're expected to sit in a metaphorical hole with razor
blades at your wrists and such. but so it goes...
history: a book on native americans that I have to read by tomorrow
and take notes on has been sitting in a drawer in my bathroom cabinet for
about a month now, waiting for me to take a long bath and peel open its oh-so-informative
pages. but no such baths have been taken. I'm a shower kinda girl, thanks.
romance: wouldn't that be something?
music & entertainment: the obligatory song quote. lyrics running through
my mind often as of late. I see priests, politicians? the heroes in black
plastic body-bags. under nations' flags. I see children. pleading with outstretched
hands, drenched in napalm. this is no Vietnam, I can't take anymore. how can
we justify? they call us civilized! taken from "blind curve" by marillion.
stay tuned for tomorrow's festivities. $12.51 is your change, feel free to
tip, and so on and so forth.
.......
10.17.01 // 9:52 pm ::
I misplaced my belt for tae kwon do but went anyways.
currently listening to anathema - "emotional winter" and looking at pictures
of sunsets like the hopeless romantic that I am. could make comments on irony
of title to anathema song but won't. feeling both immensely intellectual and
mellow, childish and aware of my surroundings, tired and exhilarated. it's
a good day to be alive, sir.
.......
10.16.01 // 10:27 pm ::
statistics of the life I lead, compiled by s. diddy, last of ye olde freestylers:
reading: the circus of the damned, dumb sex/blood/vampire book #4.
listening: oasis - d'you know what I mean? (and I'm liking it, too,
asshole. sonya = un-hardcore sellout poseur)
feeling: inadequate at instant messenger conversations.
shall we quote a song? (alison
says: "you fucking quote too many fucking songs.") alright, then. point. this
indian summer, I signed my life away. counterpoint. you will be all
things. you'll get what you bring. point. listening to music listened
to at age 12 is vastly under-rated. teenage angst is vastly under-rated. naivete
is vastly under-rated. counterpoint. what the hell am I talking about?
it's so funny to try to talk about feelings you think yourself such an expert
with when, after careful evaluation of events past, present, and future, it's
a likely probability that self has never actually experienced said feelings,
despite self's stubborn insistence, but, hell, y'know... what I'm trying to
say is that I had a good day. and I recommend you have one too, cowboy.
.......
10.15.01 // 6:11 pm ::
under different circumstances, I might have considered it. hell, I have
considered it. but that doesn't mean, shit, deaf, dumb, thirteen, starting
to deserve this, and I remember when those lyrics actually applied. so
what now?
politics, eh? I've hardly a mind for that today. nothing too intelligent here,
sir, but please come back tomorrow because I'm sure to have finished my brief
but much needed moment of angst by then and will be there to cater to all
of your needs. did I just justify myself to myself?
probably.
but anyways. the easiest way to sidestep an actual problem and metaphorically
approach it through another is with divorce. c'mon now. we all know divorce
caused 99% of the problems in my life, none of which I could have stopped/prevented/et
cetera. right? we agree? great. continuation. and God knows I've been listening
to depressing music lately (and no happy music, of course, but we'll
pretend for the sake of this) and thus pondering my dad, when I get to see
him next and so forth. and the age old question here... can I admit to missing
my dad without simultaneously implying that I don't miss my mum and have no
interest in spending time with her, and do I have to constantly choose, and
what is all this nonsense with me being a complete person? I'm half of him
and half of her and at least give me the right to complain about being torn
in half for the rest of my life, eh?
because I sure as hell don't have the right to complain about anything else.
continuation. I need help but I won't ask for it because I'm too badass or
hardcore or whatever they call that now. and this is a subtle hint, if you
will? no, hardly. more like proof to the world (or a miniscule percentage
of it) that I exist and somehow managed to make it through my little problems
fast enough to help you with yours, simultaneously strong and self-pitying,
sky high and fucked, but, well, life goes on.
mmm mmm good. thanks for my time. and, hear you me, I can tapdance too, mister.
.......
10.14.01 // 8:32 pm ::
Q: Have you got AIDS?
A: No.
Q: Are you positive...?
.......
10.14.01 // 7:35 pm ::
listening to lara fabian - "the dream within" and looking at my winamp plug-ins
and thinking that there really can't be that much more beauty in the world
except in sunsets and I haven't really seen a sunset for over a year, I mean,
I've seen sunsets in passing, but never really stopped by the lake and just
watched for an hour like I used to. which almost makes me wish I'd
follow my own advice sometimes. fuck it.
on the non-cryptic, non-I'm-going-to-rant-but-I-won't-tell-you-what-I'm-ranting-about
thing, cellphones
are killing british ghosts.
.......
10.13.01 // 11:12 pm ::
and the irony almost brought me to my knees.
there's nothing better than feeling eleven, if only for a few seconds. because
for those few seconds, the passion all makes sense.
.......
10.12.01 // 8:05 pm ::
your eyes can be so cruel... just as I can be so cruel. but I do believe
in you. but I do believe in you.
can't even explain how much I like this song.
.......
10.12.01 // 4:22 pm ::
today, the subway crew (myself, alison,
and alia) went to broadway, where we purchased a present
for fellow co-worker linnea, who had asked for a surprise. we think she was
pretty surprised.
.......
10.11.01 // 4:09 pm ::
I finished the crucible during my free period, although none of you
were really aware that I had started reading it.
quoted via fark:
The thrash-metal band Anthrax might change its name. "It's as though it's
1937 and I'm a bandleader named Freddie Hitler," lead singer Scott Ian,
37, told the Washington Post. "Maybe we should change the name now. A friend
suggested Basket of Puppies."
ahhhaaaahaHAHA. mmmkay.
we were "discussing" in "american studies" the fact that some school had a
sign reading god bless america on its property and some atheist soccer
mom was getting her panties in a knot about it.
I love how national fucking tragedies make everybody suddenly all self-righteous.
not only that, but what sort of double standard is this? if the sign said
satan bless america, people would be walking up and down the street
praising free speech. I'm not christian; haven't been since I discovered that
santa was a lie... but I don't automagically assume that the word 'god' implies
the christian god. and while I'm no big fan of organized religion either,
in no way do I find anything offensive in that sign. at all.
going to work now. anybody in
the seattle area can feel
free to stop by. not
that I'm implying anything there.
.......
10.10.01 // 5:12 pm ::
I haxored the stonerboard
and broke it. dave fixed
it, so all is swell. haxoring is bad, folks. mmmkay?
.......
10.10.01 // 3:37 pm ::
just testing my insanely leet digital camera skillz:
click me! please!
that would be dave of spontaneous
for those that don't know.
also, the apple machine,
me being an idiot,
somebody's pasta, and
more me being an idiot.
yes, I have a bathroom fetish. here are more bathrooms.
.......
10.09.01 // 10:22 pm ::
I've been trying so hard (ok, that's a complete lie. I've been pretending
to try) to read Master and Margarita, which has been sitting on my
shelf for a good several years, but I think tonight I'll cave and read my
sappy sex/blood/vampire books like the, um, whatever that I am.
ps. chick getting up in my shit about not being "athletic" (try me. try
me) can seriously suck my toes. no, I don't participate in sports, if by "sports"
you mean lifting variously weighted sticks for some sort of perverse enjoyment
and kicking balls around a field in a j.v. soccer match. cuz we all know j.v.
stands for something wittily offensive and not really for junior varsity.
.......
10.08.01 // 8:25 pm ::
lately I have been obsessively listening to: "lorelei" - theater of tragedy.
"dogma" - kmfdm. "50 bucks" - icp. "fuck if I know" - kmfdm rammstein mix
(thanks, sic) "informer" - snow. I am
hardest of cores.
today, we spent history class discussing the merits of celebrating columbus
day. during the last two minutes of class, the teacher hastily said, "yeah,
and if you didn't know, we're bombing afghanistan and there's a second reported
case of anthrax poisoning, but don't worry," and I was dismissed to my next
period feeling kinda guilty for not crying out, "fuck!" and telling her exactly
what I think of her teaching methods and what she can go do with herself.
but that's just not how the system works, you know.
reminds me of this one song lyric, don't worry about my goddamn flag, boy.
what's terrible is you damn rappers cursing.
mmmkay. just direct your attention over here,
kids. thanks, come again.
.......
10.08.01 // 6:21 pm ::
photos taken last night that did not make it into the new layout:
img 1 >> img
2 >> img 3 >> img
4
going to tae kwon do in several minutes. been doing a half-assed job of attending
class for two years now. would probably be a red belt or so if I put effort
into it, but commitment to things I'm forced to commit to is not one of my
stronger points. but so it goes...
in general, life has been ultra-excellent lately. I'm not sure why, but, hell,
I'm not about to complain.
.......
10.07.01 // 11:28 pm ::
dave has his forum
thing up. guaranteed to be even more fun than bombing afghanistan.
.......
10.07.01 // 10:25 pm ::
from cnn's transcript of bush's
address to the nation:
"At the same time, the oppressed people of Afghanistan will know the generosity
of America and our allies. As we strike military targets, we will also drop
food, medicine and supplies to the starving and suffering men and women and
children of Afghanistan."
mmmkay. and here I was thinking I was naive.
.......
10.07.01 // 10:03 pm ::
word on the street is we're bombing afghanistan now. great. here are fark's
headlines on the subject, in chronological order:
u.s. begins bombing afghanistan
u.s. strike on afghanistan has begin
it's on
afghan capital under attack
america strikes afghanistan
cnn's coverage of the u.s. attack on afghanistan
moving on... we're bombing afghanistan now because, you see, we have to. we're
the u.s. we bomb things. to misquote neal stephenson, it's one of our rights,
along with our life, liberty, and pursuit of whatever, it's fucking unalienable.
and that ramadan holiday or whatever is next month, right? you don't just
go and bomb a country on its fucking national holiday, do you? no!
you don't. and you can't just fight afghanistan in winter, cuz russia tried
that, and it didn't work very well. so we gotta get it over with, right? cuz
holy wars are bad. and if we pop in, do our business, and pop out, no holy
war! just... a not holy one.
that makes sense, yeaaaah.
psst. and don't even tell me my images load slow or the colours aren't pretty.
we're in the midst of a national tragedy. don't you have better things to
do with your time?
like bomb afghanistan????
not that I'm upset... or anything.
.......
10.06.01 // 8:08 pm ::
what do you say when the most important thing you know is to keep your mouth
shut? when you're nearly through covering for people who can't cover for themselves.
if you're so goddamned innocent, why do I watch what I say? if you're so adult,
why can't you handle it? but so it goes, and when all of your friends refuse
to be alibis, will it be worth it? c'mon, kids. probably not.
when everything is so public it's private, do you advertise or change the
subject? when there are more metaphors in a paragraph than solid, concrete
facts, are you some sort of radical poet publishing incredibly subtle social
satire, or do you just not know what the hell you're talking about? y'know.
not that I'm describing myself or anything.
.......
10.05.01 // 11:38 pm ::
this is your
life, this is your fucking life.
.......
10.05.01 // 11:25 pm ::
quote of the... um... day:
"the willingness to surrender what we're supposed to be fighting for," says
nat hentoff, the village voice columnist, "is a recurring part of our
history." - seattle weekly, page 15.
well I know the words, but I can't really speak them...to you. I wish there
was some way to just sum up my existence in a few syllables; then I wouldn't
have to type away at nearly midnight grasping for thoughts, so if you want
my address it's number one at the end of the bar // where I sit with the broken
angels clutching at straws and nursing our scars, and so on and so forth.
can't decide if I'm a writer kid or an artsy kid. why is it important to me?
probably for the same reason I track
my site traffic.
ps: I find it mildly amusing that I am google's first choice for icp
porno. but we all know how that is...
to do list: finish reading the gulag archipelago, the diamond age,
master and margarita, and any other book that has been put off for
at least two years. slacker? you damn right I'm a slacker.
.......
10.04.01 // 10:10 pm ::
From The Stranger, reprinted completely without permission, etc:
"The owners of JJ's Party House are coming under fire for stocking
pinatas bearing the likeness of Osama Bin Laden." ... "Karam,
[ the owner ] who is of Lebanese descent, said that many callers complained
that the pinatas "reinforced negative stereotypes of people from the Middle
East - most notably the stereotype that Middle Eastern people are filled with
candy and should be struck with bats."
.......
10.04.01 // 9:44 pm ::
So I come home from work 45 minutes late because, you see, we ran out of bread
(and sadistically decorated the store with signs that read "we have no bread.
none. zero. completely out." and "no, really. we're not kidding" and "still
no bread" because, amazingly, people walk in after reading aforementioned
signs and ask for... bread!) and that situation took a little time to fix.
Anyways. Moving on. Continuation! I come home to, well, alot more interesting
things than google referrals, but, c'mon, everybody loves google referrals.
So here are cherryspoon.org's finest:
underage
boy fucking photos
porno
kiddies
www.cherryspoon.org
underage
girl photos
kenna
- hell bent
other mp3 searches including the sisters of mercy, anathema, dmx, nick cave,
tricky, the sneaker pimps, blu cantrell, rage against the machine, and twiztid.
other random searches including eggplant caviar, cemeterygirl.com, crack,
anti-qwest, jurassic park soft toys, and my hatchetman necklace.
Mmmkay.
.......
10.04.01 // 4:19 pm ::
"The
usual fish is sturgeon," Vatomsky says, dropping a little horseradish on top
of the aspic, "which is the best fish ever invented by God, if there is a
God; and if not, then whoever invented sturgeon should have a monument put
up to them."
Is your dad this cool? Probably not.
.......
10.04.01 // 4:01 pm ::
Happy birthday, Dave!
So I am sitting in front of Clancy the computer, and spread around his beautiful
monitor is: a booklet on the SATs, my permanent record, a booklet on the PSATs,
a plan for college with the PSATs, a list of colleges visiting the high school,
a "Where Do I Go From Here? Future choices and options" book, College Guide
magazine, a flyer from the National Association for College Admission Counseling,
and a very very VERY tall glass of pepsi I am drinking with near-alcoholic
fervor.
Overwhelmed? Me? Never.
It is scary, this. Most frightening. Like one of them metaphorical rocks that
start rolling and. Don't. Stop. Like, let's go play tag in the jungle gym
and glue noodles to construction paper no WAIT I forgot I'M GOING
TO COLLEGE TONIGHT.
Shameless relative promotion here.
Shameless almost-funny elitist joke here.
.......
10.04.01 // 3:40 pm ::
Tasteless Bin Laden humour number
one and tasteless Bin Laden humour number
two.
.......
10.03.01 // 9:42 pm ::
Hillary
compares conservatives to Bin Laden, comparing people to Hitler 'not fashionable
anymore.'
fark.com,
do me now. It is an interesting fact to note, though. It's such an integral
part of our culture to have some sort of villain, be it Mc Veigh, Hitler,
Marilyn Manson, Bin Laden, people who request provologne cheese when we fucking
have american, swiss, and pepperjack, asshole, no we don't have cheddar
either, and so forth. 50 bucks says you'll let me in.
.......
10.03.01 // 3:11 pm ::
Matfei! Do you have any ideaaaa how
many people have shown me this?
Not funny! Notfunnyatall.
(or maybe a little?)
.......
10.03.01 // 12:21 am ::
Growing up cramps my style.
.......
10.03.01 // 12:07 am ::
Had one of them epiphany things while talking to Dave.
Life is like an ICP concert. Life is like an ICP concert. Life is like an
ICP concert. Dry rinse. Wash. Repeat.
So why am I still awake at 12 am? Good question.
.......
10.02.01 // 3:39 pm ::
"Dole for pineapple,
not for president." - Sone, circa 1996/7
"I hate this fucking fascist cafeteria." - David,
circa last lunch period.
Psst. I've been digging this site
the past twenty-four hours. I remember hearing the Humans
Can Lick Too story at camp. Man, I hated camp.
I a href like no other.
.......
10.01.01 // 8:40 pm ::
I just found this list I wrote last year of 37 things that made me happy,
and most of them don't make me happy anymore.
Some that still do:
18. Sitting in the dark at my bus stop listening to music.
19. The Riddlebox poster right above my bed.
22. Cheap sushi.
.......
10.01.01 // 5:21 pm ::
"He generally spends up to six hours after school connected to the Internet,
and rarely goes to bed before 2 or 3 in the morning. His jet black dyed hair,
long trenchcoat, and black makeup convey the image of a self-styled nonconformist."
- The Mirror's "special internet issue."
Ex-squeeze me? Because if there's nothing else I learned from back when Marilyn
Manson actually scared
people, it's that the colour black makes you self-styled and nonconformist,
just like EVERY OTHER trench coat wearing teenage boy who denies ever
having owned a Boyz II Men cd.
Nonconformist my butt.
.......
09.30.01 // 8:50 pm ::
And I quote:
"America's enemy, be it Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, the Taliban, a multinational
coalition of terrorist organizations, any of a rogue's gallery of violent
Islamic fringe groups, or an entirely different, non-Islamic aggressor we've
never even heard of... be warned," Bush said during an 11-minute speech from
the Oval Office. "The United States is preparing to strike, directly and decisively,
against you, whoever you are, just as soon as we have a rough idea of your
identity and a reasonably decent estimate as to where your base is located."
Added Bush: "That is, assuming you have a base."
.......
09.29.01 // 5:37 pm ::
Hatchet Rising Tour, Seattle Exhibition Center, 09.28.01:
Attended last night by cherryspoon.org's Sone
and Alison.
The show was played at the Seattle Exhibition Center, which is right across
from SafeCo Field. Oddly enough, it was also at the same time as a Mariner's
(Seattle's baseball team) game, so parents, children, and people wearing "Jesus
Saves" signs constantly walked by a growing line of juggalos in clown makeup.
For some reason, the police-type guys making sure we didn't drop to our knees
and worship Satan or riot or burn the place down or whatever were wearing
shirts with the words "Beverage Enforcer" on the back.
The concert was my third ICP show, and Alison's first. Surprisingly enough,
she actually enjoyed it.
Interesting facts: Anybody Killa performed with Blaze during Blaze's set.
Some juggalo from Vashon Island informed Alison and myself that we were pretty.
When the police-type people were searching the crowd for weed, somebody yelled,
"You're just beverage enforcers, you can't fight marijuana" or something to
that extent. This guy behind me rubbed my ass. There was a juggalo wearing
a costume similar to what 2dope wore in the BMH movie. 2dope came out wearing
a Superman suit for the ICP set. ICP played more older songs than I've seen
at their past shows, and their lyrics were screamed by the juggalos louder
than those to the Dark Lotus and other newer songs, thanks very much.
Alison and I both got Faygo bottles. During "Juggalo Family," J said, "If
the management would be so kind as to allow a few hundred juggalos on stage,"
because, see, at their last Seattle show, too many (myself included) got on
stage and the show was put to an end rather early. And we got kicked out of
the venue again because too many people rushed to the merch booths after Dark
Lotus finished their set.
Thanks for my time. MCL.
.......
09.28.01 // 11:59 pm ::
Wicked. Each ICP show I go to is better than the last one, shit, man, I can't
even describe it. So I won't, tonight. Much Clown Love!
.......
09.28.01 // 5:28 pm ::
The ICP show is...tonight. Soon. I'm starting to twitch with anticipation
and all that. New layout! It is in progress, anyways. There were some mad
funny articles in The Stranger this week so once I find the one I lost
at work, I shall share with all of you with no access to Seattle newspaper
type things. Sense make no parce que CONCERT, no? Yes! I am...excited. And
determined to make new layout while sweating out my post-concert go, go,
life, all is great buzz, or will do what did after Tool concert and just...nothing.
Mmm.
Sometimes desperate measures call for desperate quotes, yeah, if I was your
woman, oh the things I'd do to you but I'm not so I can't then I won't but...if
I was your girl.
H to the izzo. That is all.
.......
09.26.01 // 9:37 pm ::
www.darkdeceptions.com [ link
] ... (it's about damn time)
PS. I got a snowboard, finally. No more rentals. Yes. YES.
.......
09.25.01 // 11:10 pm ::
Am having thoughts of turning CS.ORG into that mythical zine Sheem
and I have been planning for a year or so, and cancelling all the exciting
updates of when Alison and I went
skateboarding and which parking lot we did it in.
Unfortunately, the only thing really pushing my buttons now is the educational
tilt we have here in the Native American unit of American Studies, and a)
I'm not sure the subject is interesting to anybody but me and b) my view on
it might be rather offensive. My general view on anything these days is "if
it is the natural progression of the human race, go for it." Which means I
support the ability to have an abortion, albeit I'd never have one myself,
genetically engineered food, stem-cell research, and all that loveliness.
And Sheem... What the hell is this? It
looks suspiciously Canadian.
.......
09.24.01 // 8:05 pm ::
Alright. So I went snowboard shopping because, you see, I'm finally getting
me my own board. And I keep going back between good and bad moods; don't know
whether to laugh, or cry, or punch the walls with my fists, which is marvelous,
you see, because I'm getting a snowboard, and going to see ICP on Friday,
and having an altogether kickin' time.
David is on the CS.ORG
team.
And Joel... Thanks for the constant help,
man.
.......
09.21.01 // 11:41 pm :: listening to enigma - "gravity of love" ...
Up until about a week ago, I was thinking I was fairly mature. Well, smack
my ass and call me stupid because mature is quite far from where I'm feeling
I am right now. Is there a theme here? A motif, perhaps? As our dear friend
Joel so nicely put it,
I'm suffering of the same thing every other teenage girl is suffering and,
well, up until about a week ago, I felt so above that. "You went through
that in seventh grade, Sonya," I'd say to myself, or we'll pretend I'd say
to myself, for the purpose of this entry, "and now you are Mature Woman who
Deals With Emotions."
Bullshit. Because there's nothing like a national tragedy to make you
feel like a seventh grader, right? And it isn't even about that. I
need one of those stupid emoticon-looking things that everybody has that say
"feeling: whatever" and then have a happy or sad or whatever face so I could
be feeling: immature, and then, you know, it'd be official, and you'd understand,
and we know it's all about you and understanding, right? Of course. Moving
on. I keep wanting to put disclaimers on everything. Keep backing up all the
shit I say because, you know, it's all about you and fucking understanding,
and we all know what it's like to be racially profiled and stereotyped and
misunderstood and manhandled on the Florida panhandle poor poor little Russian
girl et cetera et cetera tell the story sing a song and make everybody oh
so damn interested in every fucking word and, yes, I just said fucking, and
I'll say it again, ok, thanks, going to bed, go away.
.......
09.20.01 // 3:56 pm :: listening to alice in chains - "dem bones" ...
I'm not sure why I do this anymore. I might even focus more energy on Mustard
because, for all the teenybopperiness, it's so much less fake than this. Yeah,
sometimes I'll have deep, intelligent, and profound things to say, but sometimes
I just want to fucking dance around in my underwear and listen to Ace of Base,
because, you know, Ace of Base is twice the man I am. Not that I'm a man.
But, you see, it doesn't really matter because after work I'm going skateboarding
with Al
and after that I'm going to bed and after that I'm going to school, a place
where people appreciate my value to this community. GOAWAY, dear internet,
GOAWAY because I love you and yet I wish to kick you hard where it
hurts.
.......
09.19.01 // 10:15 pm :: listening to icp - "bitches" ... On one hand,
I'd love to ask for help or compassion or a fucking hand with this
because I sure as Hell can't or won't or just am sick of being the only one
I can depend on, although I guess that's just the way it goes around here,
and on the other hand, in BOLD, mind you, it's hard to be a
badass Ice Queen I-have-no-problems rah rah rah chick when you need help,
you see, so I shut my mouth and suck it up and some good it has done me these
past years.
Beeyatch. I love you, but now you gotta die.
Heh heh feeling better already. Didn't even have to smash down the apartment
walls with my fists of steel, shaa. Indeed no.
.......
09.18.01 // 9:07 pm :: listening to chris isaac - "wicked games" ...
Check this
out. You can't stop us Sandwich Artists, can't hold us DOWN, becauseweunSTOPable,
yo. Shaaa.
I am perhaps a little over excited because Linnea said she'd cover for Alison
and me when we went to the ICP
show in a week, because, you see, Jackass Jim (heh heh)
won't let both of us have the day off.
Damn. I am just a hrefing all over the place. Subway stylie.
.......
09.18.01 // 3:34 pm :: listening to rammstein - "sonne" ... Nothing
like a national tragedy to get you all motivated, eh? Drawings done in past
24 hours: 1. Drawings done in past 5 months, excluding those done in past
24 hours: 0. Drawings planned to be completed by end of week: 1 million.
Jesus. I feel, for some reason, as if I was 10. This music is rising through
my chest in waves and I feel drunk even though I'm not, I think, and
everything is shiny and golden and wonderful and there's fried chicken and
jo-jos and one bottle of faygo in the fridge and so it goes...
.......
09.16.01 // 6:24 pm :: listening to dark lotus - "bad rep" ... Redesign
coming soon. Mostly because I'm remembering why I made this site in the first
place (this is when I plug what year I started web"design" to show how hardcore
I am) and, well, if it's not about the art, it's about the writing, and if
it's not about the writing, it's just plain narcissism. That's right. S. Diddy,
purveyor of fine angst. Shaaaa.
.......
09.15.01 // 10:15 am :: listening to dark lotus - "ali baba" ... To
paraphrase The Stranger, a most wonderful Seattle indiepaper, I was going
to write about that annoying jeans commercial with the singing bellybuttons
but then that national tragedy happened and you know how that is...
I can only spew deep, meaningful shit for so long before I just run OUT
and then I'm left talking about Columbus, because that's deeper than movies,
right? And only shallow, insignificant people would go see movies in the wake
of a fucking national tragedy.
Don't get me wrong, I feel very deep and meaningfully about this but my birthday
was two days ago and damned if I let terrorists ruin my movie-watching fun.
Right?
And so it goes...
.......
09.15.01 // 9:51 am :: listening to dark lotus - "juggalo family" ...
This guy cracks
me up and makes me feel rather dirty afterwards.
.......
09.13.01 // 4:35 pm :: listening to dark lotus - "swarm" (thank you,
thank you, thank you!) ... Happy fuckin birthday to me.
Sheem [ link
] seems to have a new layout up. Go, Sheem, go. Maybe she'll keep it up a
record 3 days.
I'd just love to debate with you folks whether it was fair for the Spaniards
to overthrow the Aztec empire, an enthralling topic we are covering in school,
but I'm going to go drink, do drugs, have sex, whatever you're supposed to
do on your birthday.
Or hang at the mall and catch a movie. Shut up.
.......
09.12.01 // 4:51 pm :: listening to soft cell - "tainted love" ...
Tangent: a short story written
last year. Not terrorist related, oh what a daring rogue am I.
.......
09.12.01 // 4:21 pm :: listening to alice in chains - "dem bones" ...
War. C'mon, you're apathetic, scared shitless, whatever, but you almost want
to survive it. Not really, you don't want your friends to die and most
certainly don't want gas to cost 5 bucks a gallon, but you think anyways...
What if I was on that plane. Maybe I'd save the world, you
know. And they'd name a school after me. Or a museum. Yeah. A museum.
Yeah, it's fucking sick, but everything else I feel has been said down
below and talking about what I wore to school today doesn't feel right either.
So let's push buttons, whatever. I'm tired.
.......
09.11.01 // 5:00 pm :: listening to CNN ... Fuck, man. I don't even
want to talk about it. But, so it goes.
People are dead. Don't get me wrong, that's horrible. Shit, man, it's estimated
at around 50 thou right now, which is just under the death total for the Vietnam
fucking War. But I can't sit here and cry about them, I just can't,
so all I can do is worry about how fucked over the rest of the country is
going to be. One third of our economical whatever is based in New York. One
third. Yeah, swell, and it's just getting started.
Girl in school: Will TRL be on tonight?
Yeah, apparently not.
So freedom was attacked, as Bush put it, God bless America, etc, but all this
patriotic shit is just making confused teenagers run around saying, "Yeah,
let's nuke them," and, by the way, Palestine is not a terrorist group.
Fuck, man I don't care if, hypothetically, 99% of them and their American
counterparts, descendents, whatever, ARE terrorists. That doesn't mean
you need to ridicule the 1% that you invited to your birthday party at the
skating rink in second grade.
Thanks for my time.
.......
09.08.01 // 6:56 pm :: listening to mandy moore - "candy" (shut up.
mandy moore is some hardcore shit) ... Homework, right? Wrong. Mmm
life good. Ohsexylife. Birthday next week, oh yes, oh yes. Gonna get me a
big fat chocolate cream pie, oh yes, oh yes.
Bought two magazines with Kurt Cobain on the cover because my imaginary friend
Zelda (who is a boy) from when I was 8 was modeled after Cobain and Zelda
is hawt.
Well, that's not the only reason I bought them. But you know how that
is.
Going to see ICP
on the 28th and Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds on the 24th. I am win.
.......
09.06.01 // 3:32 pm :: listening to tom petty - "last dance with mary
jane" ... By the way... I'm getting ICP
tickets tomorrow. Gonna be my third show of theirs. Oh, baby.
.......
09.06.01 // 3:17 pm :: listening to angry, ANGRY music ... Is it June
yet? What the hell IS this? They actually EXPECT me to wake up at six and
sit and listen and learn about how fucking HORRIBLE the Europeans were to
the Native Americans, go cry me a river, teach.
C'mon, I dare you.
And what was with that mtv award thing? I mean, when the most hardcore
thing you play is Limp fucking Bizkit, Jesus on a stick I am at a loss for
words... Oh Fred Durst, you rogue. You bad, bad motherfucker. Suck my toes.
Happy happy feel fantastic, boy am I enthusiastic!
.......
09.05.01 // 7:06 pm :: listening to rammstein - "sonne" ... Because
I have no about me section...
The sun is setting as S. Diddy, last of ye olde freestylers, tape-recorder
in hand, sits down at a table in front of us. Yes, us. Humor me, bitch.
S. Diddy: Tell me, Sone of cherryspoon.org fame, about yourself.
Me: Ok.
S. Diddy: a/s/l? ru hawt? (pause) I'm kidding. Yes or no, can
you play any instruments?
Me: No.
S. Diddy: Did you ever live in the ghetto?
Me: Why yes, S. Diddy, I did.
(Alison, hiding in the dark, laughs loudly)
Me: For two months.
S. Diddy: Ok. What is your favourite musical group?
Me: That's not a yes or no question.
S. Diddy: Ok. Do you like ICP?
Me: Yes.
S. Diddy: Do you own any Spice Girls albums?
Me: Yes.
S. Diddy: What was the first tape you ever bought?
Me: Nirvana's "Bleach."
S. Diddy: First cd?
Me: Michael Jackson's "Dangerous."
S. Diddy: Do you own any RAVERPANTS?
Me: Yes. Shut up.
S. Diddy: Ever been in a porno?
Me: Sort of.
S. Diddy: Sort of?
Me: Yeah.
S. Diddy: Any tattoos?
Me: No.
S. Diddy: Piercings?
Me: No.
S. Diddy: Loser.
Me: Yes.
S. Diddy: Ever been in a band?
Me: A rap group.
S. Diddy: Were you good?
Me: No.
S. Diddy: I think that's all the information I need.
Me: Thank you for my time.
S. Diddy, last of ye olde freestylers, departs.
Shut up. I did too just have an interview with myself. I am hardest
of cores. New trend, perhaps, I start. No, you say? Well, shit.
.......
09.04.01 // 3:32 pm :: listening to anathema - "deep" ... I remember
back when I was a kiddie I used to tell all my chatroom buddies that I was
16 or 17, but, man, this shit ain't even funny. I got back from school thirty
minutes ago and in another thirty I need to be at work for the rest of the
night. I'm growing up, and it's fucking scary right now because I know that
between school and work I'll have very little time to see my dad, my parents
being divorced and all that, and then soon I'll graduate and that's marvy
but it's over, you know? Bye bye, childhood. It's over. Shit. Hahah no, yes,
whatever.
.......
09.03.01 // 6:49 pm :: listening to vast - "pretty when you cry" ...
Sone loves Susie's
inbox. With PASSION, as was expressed by 100 emails. Notmyfault. Hisfault.
.......
09.03.01 // 5:47 pm :: listening to juvenile - "ha" ... Quotes from
trip to Ashland Shakespeare Festival, recently attended by none other than
S. Diddy, last of ye olde freestylers:
Him: "What do you do?" "Oh, I paint snow scenes on chainsaws."
And after a long discussion on how the word "cool" was no longer cool, and
what could be used as a substitute, while trying to decide what sights to
see in the city:
Him: I want to go to the cemetery. I want to see where people die.
Me: That's morbid, man.
Him: Yes, but it's also very tight.
.......
09.03.01 // 5:32 pm :: listening to the deftones - "mascara" ... I
am back. Hold, please.
.......
08.30.01 // 12:03 am :: listening to op ivy - "jaded" ... I pick up
the phone at work...
Him: Hi!
Me: Hi!
Him: Hi!
Me: Would you like to order something?
Him: A footlong turkey sandwich on white bread.
Me: Ok. What would you like on it?
Him: Meatballs!
Me: I thought you wanted turkey on it.
Him: Roastbeef!
At this point I give the phone to Danny and the caller turns out to
be Fred, our resident pimp and drug dealer, calling from the other
Subway our manager owns, courtesy of AT&T Wireless. (Who Wants To Be
A Millionaire-esque lights descend from the ceiling as the phone is passed
back to Sone)
Him: Party sub! Party sub! Party sub!
I LOVE where I work.
.......
08.29.01 // 4:05 pm :: listening to nirvana - "oh me" ... This
is genius. Unless, of course, it's not a joke. In which case it is very,
very wrong. Allow me to quote from this girl's profile:
hey i am jenna and i luv punk. my best friend 4eva nancy told about this
kewl diary shit so like here i am. read my diary! i write about kewl punk
stuff like carson daly, sum 41, blink 182, and even some real hardcore old
school punk like green day!
And a quote from her diary:
well, n e wayz, skool is startin soon, which totalli sux, cuz skool is
like, totalli NOT punk!!! like omg! god! there are like soooooo many prepz
at skool and then like allllll these posers
And she called emo "elmo." Hee hee.
.......
08.29.01 // 9:41 am :: listening to anathema - "judgement" ... So Alison
and I were talking yesterday about how some dude used to deal drugs out of
our McDonalds. As in, you'd go through the drive through and be all, "I want
a big mac, a small drink, an ounce, and large fries."
But then the police found out. And you know how the police are about things
like that.
.......
08.28.01 // 7:30 pm :: listening to nirvana - "paper cuts" ...
Him: oh yeah!? You know what!? ummm...I don't like ICP so take that!
Me: man
Me: am i insulted
Me: i am shocked as well
Me: so shocked
Me: and insulted
Him: You send like 3 messages at a time just like me, that rocks.
Too legit. Too legit to quit.
.......
08.28.01 // 1:38 pm :: listening to nirvana - "about a girl" ... /dick
was refurnished to give you non AA
kiddies something to look at. Namely photos of underage Russian web gurus
[ link ] and their stolen
Subway posters [ link
].
School photos were taken and yearbooks were paid for. I look like I'm stoned.
Hunh.
.......
08.27.01 // 2:45 pm :: listening to nirvana - "lithium" ... Alison
and I permanently borrowed some of the old Subway posters last night:
More photos - [ img1
; img2 ; img3
]
.......
08.27.01 // 1:50 pm :: listening to nirvana - "floyd the barber" ...
Hee hee, us
Russian people are evil. I eat pancakes with mayonnaise, sometimes, you see,
and noodles too, and you laugh! So, naturally, we must laugh back.
Also, phone conversation with Maya:
Me: I'm going to fail English for the first time in my life.
Her: No. You'll get a B and be all like, "Look, a B!
I failed!"
Me: No... You do not understand. Russian parents... You do not understand.
.......
08.27.01 // 1:05 am :: listening to nirvana - "love buzz" ... It's
not really that I like this layout, you see. It's that the old one
was making my eyes hurt and my head spin and my heart go thumpa thumpa with
the feelings of FAILURE. Sort of. Yes, kind sir, that is my hand. And
what a sexy hand it is, I might add. Or I might not, you see, but I did, and
it's 1 am, and there's really nothing you can do to stop me.
And YES, I have a fixation with boxes and left side of the screen navigation
and obscenely bright pink. But... Um. Nevermind.
.......
08.26.01 // 12:49 pm :: listening to the sneaker pimps - "spin spin
sugar" ... So I got Mr. Digital Camera installed and meffed with him a bit.
Click the link. Because
you can, my man.
.......
08.25.01 // 10:48 pm :: listening to anathema - "judgement" ... So
tickets go on sale next week for a concert featuring
Rammstein
Slipknot
System of a Down
No One
Thirty something bucks and they play at the Tacoma Dome. Hunh.
I ADORE Rammstein, but I can barely stand the other bands.
Is it worth it? Probably
not.
.......
08.25.01 // 5:49 pm :: listening to firewater - "some strange reaction"
... I just spent half an hour working on an image in Photo Impact (ghetto
Photo Shop) and then it crashed. Okay. Swell. Thanks, you lovely little program.
Next time you go to Subway, don't even THINK I'll give you extra cheese. Fucker.
.......
08.24.01 // 10:22 pm :: listening to anathema - "parisienne moonlight"
... Ryo recommended
this band to me, and they're absolutely beautiful. I got back from hours of
skateboarding with a very good friend that I hadn't seen for a while and then
a few hours of work, and perhaps I'm saying I'd just like to put this page
on hiatus because I'm oh so busy but that's not what I'm saying at all, you
see, I just don't know what to do with myself and those god damned metaphorical
doors are opening like they always do and perhaps maybe I won't slam them
shut this time.
.......
08.23.01 // 11:52 pm :: listening to snow - "informer" ... So I'm not
the only person
who's read We. Albeit I read it because I'm Russian (of the Born There
variety, I'll have you know) and my mum insisted. Snazzy.
Oh, erm, like a rip-off perfume advertiser, Sone says, "If you like We,
you'll LOVE Anthem by Ayn Rand.
I am too cool sometimes. No like language new form talking? HA! Shit,
man. I should get myself to bed. .
.......
08.22.01 // 9:48 pm :: listening to skunk anansie - "charlie big potato"
... Another Holiday Inn, another temporary home, redesign coming soon
soon soon, my little homeboys.
.......
08.22.01 // 9:05 am :: listening to slipknot - "eyeless" ... Clancy
and I have an on and off relationship. Sometimes, upon waking, I wish nothing
more than to stroke his flat screen monitor, but he and I fought last night
and I won't tell him what's wrong until he figures it out because if he doesn't
know why I'm SAD and ANGRY well maybe he doesn't fucking deserve
me, do you Clancy? Do you? Asshole.
.......
08.21.01 // 1:17 pm :: listening to rancid - "1998" ... My skateboard,
"Roadkill," and I are doing just groovy, thanks for asking. As I hoped, it
is much like snowboarding, so 'piece of cake' I say to you! Piece of cake.
I got a referal today from somebody searching for "jurrasic park soft toys"
on Google. I got your jurrasic park soft toys right here, big boy.
.......
08.20.01 // 11:00 pm :: listening to jefferson airplane - "white rabbit"
... Ok. Now I got a referal from somebody searching for a Nick Cave song.
First Kenna, now Nick Cave. Go to hell, Google.
.......
08.20.01 // 10:52 pm :: listening to dmx - "ain't no sunshine" ...
Excerpt from "How to order a Subway Sandich," by yours truly:
Please think before you ask. What do you think is on a veggie? Sausage,
perhaps? Caviar?
Werms.
.......
08.20.01 // 10:46 pm :: listening to the radio ... Word on the street
was that another sandwich place opened up on the south side of town so Alison
and I drove down there in our Subway uniforms, glared at the 'closed' sign,
and had a conversation that went something like this:
Me: Fuckers!
Her: I bet they have provologne, though.
Me: But do they have swiss, american, or pepperjack? Do they? Assholes.
Her: Fuckers!
Me: Fuckers!
Ten minutes later...
Her: I'm gonna run these people over.
Me: FUCKERS!
Her: You know, the window is open.
.......
08.20.01 // 10:18 am :: listening to the deftones - "mascara" ... Tomorrow,
fellow heart throb and Subway co-worker Alison will voyage with me
to the nearest Wallmart to buy planks and learn to skateboard, in m